


Walls and Feelings

by eclipsed_pendulum



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: F/F, Mentioned Past Hollyleaf/Willowshine, Pre-Slash, beta readers and editing my work??, never heard of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:38:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10970277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipsed_pendulum/pseuds/eclipsed_pendulum
Summary: Hollyleaf finds a sleepy Cinderheart in the forest, and thinks over her feelings.





	Walls and Feelings

“What are you doing?”

Cinderheart twitches her whiskers, stretching out across the long grass, twisting her body to face the source of the voice. She saw Hollyleaf, her thick black fur framing her leaf green eyes, eyes that were filled with confusion but something else. Something Cinderheart couldn’t place.

Cinderheart searches Hollyleaf’s gaze, almost as if prying, trying to pull out that unknown emotion so she can examine it. But Hollyleaf seems to notice, and shifts her paws on the soft grass, her eyes hardening, throwing up her walls and keeping that emotion in, for Cinderheart to never see. Or so she thought, as Cinderheart rolls onto her belly, licking a paw and drawing it over an ear, “Just enjoying the sunshine. I was pretty cold.”

The resolve in Hollyleaf’s eyes seems to flicker out for a moment, long enough for Cinderheart to get another eyeful of the unknown emotion, but fast enough for the name of it to go unsolved. Hollyleaf shakes out her pelt, glancing around, in the trees and in the bushes before turning back to Cinderheart, the confusion back, “It’s… a really warm day. Are you sure you aren’t sick?”

Cinderheart scrunches up her muzzle as she replies, “I’m sure.” 

She didn’t hold anything against the medicine cats, and on the contrary she actually respected Leafpool and was good friends with Jayfeather, but after her accident-- where she had fallen out of a tree and broken her leg-- she decided that she had spent enough time in the medicine cat den for the rest of her life. The sharp scent of herbs and the almost faint (but very apparent if you’re looking for it) lingering scent of death often was too much for Cinderheart.

Hollyleaf was quiet for a moment, and it seems like it was the black she-cat’s turn to search her friend's gaze, before she sighs and pads over to Cinderheart, settling in the soft grass next to her. Cinderheart wouldn’t know this for a couple more greenleafs, but Hollyleaf will begrudgingly admit that the sun on her fur did feel… nice. There was a soft breeze that ran its paws through her pelt, and the leaves rustled above them. There was no clouds in the sky, and it was actually a really nice day. 

Cinderheart lets out a breath, closing her eyes and resting her head on Hollyleaf’s side. The younger she-cat blinks in surprise at how warm she is. She’s definitely sick.

Cinderheart’s breathing eventually evens out, asleep. Hollyleaf kneads at the grass awkwardly, tugging at the grass stems, examining her own feelings over; looking at it from every angle. It was a feeling she didn’t know. She couldn’t quite find the word for it, and it irritates her beyonds her ends. She hates not having the words to explain her feelings, it was a helpless feeling, one that made her paws ache and her chest tighten. But this feeling-- this was a warm feeling-- maybe she was sick? 

No, sick was cold. Sick was like claws gripping at her lungs. Speaking of sick, Cinderheart shivers slightly where she’s sleeping, and snuggles up next to Hollyleaf, burying her muzzle in the black she-cat fluffy neck fur. This new feeling was like something was like a bird was flapping around in her belly, it was like her ears and face were whiskers away from a young and still-licking flame. She flexes her claws, sheathing and unsheathing them again and again.

Time ticks by, with Hollyleaf remaining completely still as Cinderheart continues to sleep. The loud chaos in her head faded to a soft hum, the bird hunted and put down,  the flames were reduced to cinders. 

Hollyleaf frowns, thinking of how much of her warrior duties she’s missing right now, but Cinderheart quietly sneezes next to her, and the cinders reignite, and the bird begins to wriggle back to life. Maybe… she can make an exception? Surely Firestar would understand why she skipped the day? 

Hollyleaf gives herself and her thoughts a half-hearted nod. She looks around, trying to absorb her surroundings from this new angle. She looks at the grass, and how the shoots are a deep green. She moves up to Cinderheart, the way the sunlight dapples her sleek dark grey pelt, and the way her darker tail twitches with dreams and shivers. Then she shifts her gaze to the bushes, the way the dark branches swirl out, making an iconic dome shape. Then she rakes her eyes up the trees, and the bumps and creases in the bark. She finally looks up at the leaves, and how green they were. One falls absently onto the ground, and Hollyleaf watches it land, watches it add onto the carpet of leaves. 

A forest.

Thunderclan.

Hollyleaf felt her heart swell with pride, knowing that this was her clan. The remembrance of the familiarity the forest invokes in her eases the buzz that has sat still in the tips of her paws.

Though her mind drifts back to Cinderheart, and Hollyleaf sighs. She’s been stuck in her mind for moons, like a much too large boulder in a stream, unable to be swept away by the constant movement of the water. While yes, it was nice to have something to dig her claws into whenever her mind drifts, she was still confused as to why the dark grey she-cat had decided to make a home in the black she-cats always swirling head.

And the more that she has stayed there, the more Hollyleaf has noticed Cinderheart. She noticed small details, such as the way she flicks her right ear if someone interrupts her, or the way she crosses her paws when she’s embarrassed, or the slight limp she still has from falling out of that tree how many moons ago.

Hollyleaf wonders, if, perhaps, Cinderheart also is noticing little things about her. But she thinks about her walls; dense bramble bushes encircling her thoughts at all times, thorny and thick to keep anyone out. There are a few tears in the walls, but nothing to allow access inside.

As an apprentice, those walls were what protected her. Out of the view of prying siblings and strange loners. She has had someone tear down her walls, and it let in heartache. 

Hollyleaf thought about Willowshine wistfully. The two had drifted apart after becoming full fledged parts of their clans. Though admittedly, Hollyleaf realizes that she has felt the same way about Willowshine as she does Cinderheart. But that had been moons ago, back when the two were free and reckless, as the feelings has since faded.

She sighs, blinking as Cinderheart shifts in her sleep, curling up into a tight ball. 

And Hollyleaf realizes something.

 

* * *

 

 

For once, Hollyleaf changes her walls. She tears a hole open, one made on her decisions, one she realizes will be best if she is the cat to make it. 

It’s an entrance. 

She’s proud of herself, for finally letting someone in. Yet, she’s apprehensive, scared of what’s going to happen. Scared of the same heartache Willowshine brought. But it’s for the best, she assures herself once her paws begin to buzz, and she starts feeling the need to fidget to get them out.

Because Cinderheart’s already made a home here, it had been just up to Hollyleaf to let her in.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh sorry guys but i was in a cinderheart shift when i started this and now i have a billion hollycinder ideas so i guess i gotta go through with those


End file.
